so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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