i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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