Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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