Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she smelled like a LAN party
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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