Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
