i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
