I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
