wanna go halves on a baby?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
