Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
