The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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