He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
