you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
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How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
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LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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