My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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