Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
