Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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