WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize