If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
