Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Your dad touched me again.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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