Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
