nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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