Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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