whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
