About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
