This girl is more easily done than said...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
