How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My pussy is not your playground.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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