I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
