"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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