didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
