I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
