My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
