I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
