you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
