I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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