Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
