So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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