you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
