we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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