put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
