i just had sex bonerless
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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