i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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