Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
