she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize