The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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