covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
your room smells of hookers.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?