Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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