? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
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We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
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What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.