i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I'm at about main and main street
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
