i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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