i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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