remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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