Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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