Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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