Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
