consequently i now know what mace tastes like
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
