should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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