Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
