I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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