Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
