Can Purell be used as lube?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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