I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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