He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
