OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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