i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You're a waste of cheezeits
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
