I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
