I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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